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The Different Styles Of Communication Between Men And Women

By Lori on February 23, 2011

It is no secret that men and women haven’t always been able to communicate properly. The concepts and ideas that are innate in most women are usually difficult concepts for most men to grasp. By the same token, things that are obvious to men are not easily understood by the majority of women. Because of the different communication styles between men and women, it can be difficult for men and women to maintain a level of understanding and effective communication. Many times this breakdown of communication leads to extreme frustration in relationships because it is so difficult for men and women to get on the same page and have a “normal” conversation. If you want to learn to better communicate with the opposite sex, it is important to understand the difference in communication styles.

Have you ever asked a man to give you details on a particular subject? Have you noticed that he usually has a difficult time recalling the little details that you are craving? However, if you asked a woman to give you details on the same subject, chances are she will still be giving you a very in depth description 30 minutes later. Many times men feel overwhelmed when women give them a ton of “inconsequential” details because they are usually looking for a straight forward and simple answer. The next time you are telling a guy a story, try to give him the bare minimal and see if he asks for more details. Keep in mind that he won’t consider you to be standoffish because of your abbreviated storytelling skills because this is probably the way he would rather hear stories.

From a young age, boys and girls are taught to view feelings and emotions in completely different ways. Boys are encouraged to feel macho and strong, while girls are encouraged to feel sensitive and vulnerable. This is not to say that boys never experience feelings of vulnerability and sensitivity, however, they are taught to ignore those feelings. For this reason, men typically have a difficult time discussing their feelings while maintaining their feelings of masculinity. Many times a great way to discuss “feelings” with a man is to ask him what he “thinks” about a particular situation. This allows him to use his logical side to effectively express his feelings, and he will feel that he just spent the last hour discussing thoughts as opposed to discussing feelings.

When it comes to reaching goals, men typically prefer to reach these goals on their own so they can feel more accomplished. However, women usually desire to reach goals with a friend. Women like the feeling of having a support system to help them when times get tough, and men like to feel that they are being allowed to light the path for a woman they care about. Instead of running the race along with her, they would rather be her support system. You don’t have to pretend that you are completely incapable of doing simple tasks, however, if a man is trying to show you that he cares by blazing the trail for you, don’t deny him the right.

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{ 2 comments... read them or add one yourself }

  1. Saga Dating
    November 18, 2010

    girls are encouraged to feel sensitive and vulnerable.

    Sooo true. One of the subtle differences between the sexes we teach them as they grow up

  2. Coach Betty
    April 19, 2011

    This is fabulous, Lori! I am so glad to find your site, and hear your practical approach to relationship issues.

    Our conditioning is such an influence on our expectations of the opposite sex. Thank goodness for your frank discussion, and the new studies which show the actual brain differences (Louann Brizendine’s books).

    I so agree that we need to appreciate and celebrate the gifts that men bring to our planet, and their simple expressions of protection and support. I like the image of letting them light our way. What I believe will help to make that happen is when women fall in love with themselves!

    Great stuff!

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